Self-talk can go two ways…it can energize us or it can stall us from doing what we truly desire. When our self-talk is positive it is energetic:

  • we call ourselves into action,
  • we create intentions, and
  • we go for it.

What happens in this mindset? Optimism, vision, and a desire or passion to create, achieve, and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

On the other hand, when we stall, procrastinate, or delay doing what might be the most important action in our lives, what happens in this mindset?

I learned a long time ago, that we can tell ourselves anything and believe that it is true. Guess what? Whatever it is that we permit ourselves to pass through our mind, it is 100% true, but only to ourselves. We can rationalize anything to convince ourselves as to “why” or “why not”. In truth, rationalizing is what it is, “Rational – LIES”. Stalling only to pay a price later. Like a layaway plan.

Next question: How does it serve you to be using these tactics that prevent you from being who you truly desire to be? I am sure that your response will be that it does not serve you.

Why then do we resort to Rational-Lies to detract from what we desire the most? The answer can be explained simply. We found an excuse but not a reason to distract us, making us feel good but not for long.

I recall coaching a young woman who kept putting off the very action she knew was going to bring her joy and satisfaction. Whenever I asked her if she had taken any action, even one step forward, she would respond that it was a “Work in Progress”, just like the signs we see on the street. Each day we drive by and keep seeing the sign, we sigh at the inconvenience and disruption that the lack of completion causes us. Sometimes workmen were there and sometimes they were not. Similarly, Rational-lies create for us a detour, a “work in progress”; the longer it takes the more we increase the load on ourselves, resulting in becoming creators of our own toxic energy.

Why then, do we “rational-lie” to ourselves?

Let’s pull up our socks and find the answer. One possible explanation is the Fear of Failure. Dealing with the fear, rather than rationalizing why we can’t, will move closer to a life of abundance. Rationalizing only serves to distort our reality. Fears block us from stepping out of our comfort zone. In my Guidebook, 26 Pathways to a “Life my Way” I have provided tools that can enable you to move out of your Comfort Zone and into the X-Zone. Contact me if you are stuck.

What people say

After reading your book and completing the exercise, I would tell you that the pathway X-Zone changed my business drastically. Earlier, I was complacent with my present number of clients. I needed more income, but was too lame to take an initiative. After reading and doing the X-Zone exercise, I went out the next day to visit brand-name businesses in my neighbourhood. From the 7 companies that 1 visited I gained 2 new clients. I could not believe myself! The X-Zone exercise did for me what my business schools, where I completed two MBA programs, could not do. Just Imagine! It was a mere one Pathway I worked on. Bravo!
~Kamran Sani


I’m loving your book. Each pathway is a spiritual stepping stone allowing us to live the life we only imagined we could live.
~Maria Nemeth, PhD, author and Director of the Academy for Coaching Excellence


This is the time of the year to reflect and think about creating 2023 as the year of abundance. The tool to assist you in clearing the way and creating pathways of your choice is the Guidebook – 26 Pathways to a “Life my Way” which you may access by clicking on:

You may gift the book to your loved ones by inserting their email address instead of yours. Also, stay tuned for an online discussion Holiday Special so you see the 26 Pathways to a “Life my Way” in action.